ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
