i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
