I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
