It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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