She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Is it because I queefed?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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