Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
