i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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