I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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