Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize
