You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
