the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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