Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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