I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
