nut hugger
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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