Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
40s are totally the cure
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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