mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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