so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
