with your own penis?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize