my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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