some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I came so hard my ears popped.
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