Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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