You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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