I think I am morally bankrupt
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I will be naked everywhere
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
