I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
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Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
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It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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