your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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