Swine flu. Run for my life!
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
