no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
