when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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