Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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