I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Life is so much better after having sex.
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theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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