2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
