I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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