are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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