Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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