it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
