Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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