It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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