I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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