just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
