DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize