There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
