yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
