fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
