All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
