bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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