Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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