I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
