**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
But break dance skills will only take you so far
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
