He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
