would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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