so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
True college students do jello shots in the library
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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