I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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