ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Randomize
