Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
