I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
try to milk me bitch
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
