I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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