rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
