She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
