Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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