I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
