this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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