do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
