Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
