AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
