So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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