just come out here and I will go home with you...
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
