so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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