While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
